larrycoincidences:

do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly it’s 4pm and you’ve achieved literally nothing 

insanitybreach:

CAN WE TALK ABOUT LEGION’S GAMER PROFILE

AND THE FACT THAT HE DONATED TO AN EDEN PRIME FUNDRAISER

AND THAT HE SPENT 75 HOURS ON A ROMANCE GAME

THIS ALONE MAKES THE SHADOW BROKER DLC WORTH BUYING

bespectacledsloth:

all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.

bespectacledsloth:

all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:

Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.

Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.

At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.

A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.

The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.

sweet-bitsy:

local-shop:

muppetmayhem:

Animated Kermit is just a really horrible frog.

The way this kermits mouth moves cracks me up.

My brother is getting mad at me because I won’t stop saying “TEETH”

12,280 plays

prozdvoices:

Request: Goofy reads from 50 Shades of Grey PART 2

image

asked:

Can we hear more goofy reading 50 shades of gray?

Are you SURE you want that?

I mean, are you REALLY SURE?  I want you to be sure about this.

Okay, here you go.

babygonzo:

vupset:

theonion:

Report: U.S. Still Leads World With Highest Density Of Kevins

my neighbors used to have a dog named Kevin I hope he was included in this census

he was

babygonzo:

vupset:

theonion:

Report: U.S. Still Leads World With Highest Density Of Kevins

my neighbors used to have a dog named Kevin I hope he was included in this census

he was

comicsalliance:

MASSIVE FAN-ANIMATED ‘SAILOR MOON’ EPISODE RECREATION ON THE WAY, COMPLETE WITH PSA

It’s a pretty good time to be a Sailor Moon fan. Not only is there a new animated series set to kick off with a worldwide release this summer and a new line of high-end action figures to populate your bookshelves, but there’s also a resurgence of material created by fans as the franchise gets ready to relaunch.

Case in point: Moon Animate Make-Up, a full-length recreation of an episode of the original Sailor Moon anime, featuring a different animator for every shot of the show. And yes: That includes the “Sailor Moon Says” PSA at the end.

SEE MORE VIDEO